Debra Lafave, Take Off the Ankle Bracelet, All is Forgiven!

UPDATED

You knew this was coming, right?

Rush Limbaugh said it would happen, Robert Stacy McCain is writing about it, and it has been discussed in The Guardian, the Atlantic, Scientific American and on BBC.

I’m going with the full Alan Grayson here.

The Washington Post wants a teacher to screw your child. Maybe give her the spanking she deserves for the bad girl she has been in World History this year. She’ll probably love it.

Betsy Karasik, WaPo:

SEX BETWEEN STUDENTS AND TEACHERS SHOULD NOT BE A CRIME [Excerpted]

RRG Editor’s Note: Betsy Karasik is a former lawyer who turned in her license for a keffiyeh and the Essential Jack Kerouac and now is taking a turn at writing beat poetry… or something. Oh, painting; that’s it.

But more importantly she has been a 14-year-old girl, which seems to be the underpinning qualification for this limp-ass lefty treatise on why teachers should be allowed to bang students and get away with it.

There is a painfully uncomfortable episode of “Louie” in which the comedian Louis C.K. muses that maybe child molesters wouldn’t kill their victims if the penalty weren’t so severe… That may be the case for many of us, but with our legal and moral codes failing us, our society needs to have an uncensored dialogue about the reality of sex in schools.

Interruption by RRG: No, Betsy, if anything we have way too much dialogue and not nearly enough life-without-parole sentences for child molesters—that is painful—but please continue:

I don’t believe that all sexual conduct between underage students and teachers should necessarily be classified as rape, and I believe that absent extenuating circumstances, consensual sexual activity between teachers and students should not be criminalized.

Extenuating circumstances being? What, blowjobs are out? But the sex Mistress Betsy of the Dark enjoys gets a pass? Just what extenuating circumstances are we not delineating here?

I do think that teachers who engage in sex with students, no matter how consensual, should be removed from their jobs and barred from teaching unless they prove that they have completed rehabilitation.

So there are levels of consensuality. Oh good. … No job, with RE-HAB-IL-I-TA-TION.

Got it.

Nurse! Brain bleach. Stat!!!

The point is that there is a vast and extremely nuanced continuum of sexual interactions involving teachers and students, ranging from flirtation to mutual lust to harassment to predatory behavior.

And your 14 year old will discern the difference because… What, she’s growing bumps on her chest? … Oh, just because.

Check.

I’m not going to reprint any more of this pseudo intellectual academe-injected pickling juice; you can read it here, and get better analysis here and here and here.

Okay, I’m going to get this out front. I don’t believe a female teacher having sex with a teenage boy is quite the same thing as when the gender roles are reversed. Well, unless the teacher were someone like Pamela Smart. I have, however, been on the giving end of a lot of high fives.

In saying that, I am not giving teacher-student sex a pass, so you seventh-grade homeroom hotties with the bodacious bazooms keep your freaking hands off our 14-year-old washboard-abs, buns-of-steel sons’ junk. You have no idea what a West Texas father can do with a cattle prod. Get it?

But I do believe that there is an attempt on the left to feminize men and this faux ‘leveling of the playing field’ sexually is one way of saying boys and girls are the same. They are not.

I have never known a teenage boy who banged his English teacher—and I have known several—who committed suicide. The results were quite the opposite in the case Ms. Karasik cited in her inane op-ed.

That being said, WTF is the Washington Post thinking?!!!

Memo to Jeff Bezos: Are you really, really sure you want to do this?

UPDATE: This blog was linked by Robert Stacy McCain in his article ‘Victims of the Id: There But for the Grace of God Go … Hey, Maybe You, Not Me! and posted in Headlines by Wombat-socho at The Other McCain.